My mind seems to be everywhere scary lately, but I don't seem to know where to start. From story ideas to weird dreams, it feels as if I have been to many places...without leaving my house.
For now, I will start with my dreams, because either way it'll lead to the stories. Now, it's already the fifth day of the week, so I won't be able to relay every single dream I've had this week. However, the more weirder ones made a definite impact on my conscience. For starters, the most reoccurring dream I have had so far follows the script of the video game I have been playing. It is called Persona 3 Portable, an RPG with a interaction system that allows you to get to know other NPC's back stories, and the interaction system is making me go crazy in my dreams.
Apparently, whenever I'm dreaming, my mind follows that interaction system and I have to pick nonsensical options that lead me into scenarios where either I fight monsters or get pelted by things (namely bricks). In all truth, I don't even think the dialogue in those parts of my dreams are coherent...but I still have to choose something that leads to something painful. Also, if this is starting to sound incoherent, then I'm with you on that part. I'm starting to think I shouldn't play that game before I sleep, because the moment I do, the entire night I'm stuck with that interaction system trying to get myself to wake up. Trust me...having your mind follow that system makes you feel very...sad in the morning (and by sad, I mean "hungover").
Now, when my dreams aren't involved with that video game...well, let's just say it's not any better. Take last night's dream for example: I dreamed that I was watching (and then involved in) a movie where a young African American girl was chopped up into pieces by some Americans. Now, this movie seemed to be taking place in the 1960s...so you can guess why she was killed. However, seeing her chopped up body was very disturbing, enough to be burned into my memory so that when I woke up, I'd be still freaked out. ...and I was, in fact, to the point where I couldn't look in my bathroom mirror in fear that the dream was a premonition of some sort from an actual girl that got murdered.
Of course, after five hours of thinking about the dream and cowering under the covers, I thought of something cool about the story. If the dream was, in fact, not a crazy premonition, then perhaps I could use the basis of that dream as a story for a novel. Because I am writer, it seems logical to do this kind of thing whenever I have a strong plot dream, but there is one problem. I really question whether I have the guts to write a murder mystery based on something that almost made cry and pee my pants this morning. It will probably be a difficult hurdle to jump if I don't figure out how to make it less scary, even more so if I begin to dream about it more in the future.
I guess in the end, my ability to remember dreams can help me as a writer...but then I wonder how sane I'll be if I do write about them? I just hope I can find another source of inspiration to rely on sooner or later.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Why Is English So Easy To Speak, But Harder To Write?
I haven't written a blog in forever, but that's only because I have been taking my summer class since the 20th of June. As of last week, my class ended, so I am free to write again. It was really difficult to keep a blog when you have to read a 100 to 200 page children's novel while thinking deeply about the author's intentions and messages within the text, so basically I was tied up trying to get an A (and I have achieved my goal). Yet from this class, I believe I will learn to never take another children's book lightly, because the literary concepts I've learned can be applied to absolutely everything.
I had to write about 1,000 words each day for each novel we read. It was not an easy task, especially since I am a careful writer and was limited to certain topics that we had to apply to the assignment. Sometimes, I felt as if my brain was going to explode from trying to think of every possible topic to write about in my post and journal (600 and 500 hundred words respectively). Miraculously, I managed to finish almost everything a day early, which became the strategy to my success. However, it did manage to ruin my sleep schedule and my bedtime ended up around 4 AM Sundays through Wednesdays.
Yet I must say, writing almost every day for four weeks was good practice for my writing career. Now if I wasn't so lazy now, I would be continuing this practice right now. Of course, attempting to overachieve (in truth, I only had to write 500 to 750 words each day) completely tuckered my mind out. Therefore...I'm relaxing by sleeping in and playing video games until my brain finally rests up. So here I am, writing this blog.
Even though I am done with the class, though, I think I want to read more children's books. I've realized that our booklist had a lot of books I had never had the privilege to read until now. Hence, I will make it my goal to finish 100 children's books before I head back to the university for the reason that I want to apply my class a little further than expected. Maybe I'll even blog about what I read just for the heck of it.
I had to write about 1,000 words each day for each novel we read. It was not an easy task, especially since I am a careful writer and was limited to certain topics that we had to apply to the assignment. Sometimes, I felt as if my brain was going to explode from trying to think of every possible topic to write about in my post and journal (600 and 500 hundred words respectively). Miraculously, I managed to finish almost everything a day early, which became the strategy to my success. However, it did manage to ruin my sleep schedule and my bedtime ended up around 4 AM Sundays through Wednesdays.
Yet I must say, writing almost every day for four weeks was good practice for my writing career. Now if I wasn't so lazy now, I would be continuing this practice right now. Of course, attempting to overachieve (in truth, I only had to write 500 to 750 words each day) completely tuckered my mind out. Therefore...I'm relaxing by sleeping in and playing video games until my brain finally rests up. So here I am, writing this blog.
Even though I am done with the class, though, I think I want to read more children's books. I've realized that our booklist had a lot of books I had never had the privilege to read until now. Hence, I will make it my goal to finish 100 children's books before I head back to the university for the reason that I want to apply my class a little further than expected. Maybe I'll even blog about what I read just for the heck of it.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Bucket Tadpole
I found something quite weird on June 17th, but not out of the ordinary considering what has been happening in the last few days.
See, I went outside to look at our pool for any tadpoles that became frogs (with no luck might I add), and as I was heading back into my house, I spotted a white bucket near the door. The moment I peered into it out of sheer curiousity, I got excited and got out my camera. What did I see? This:
Still can't tell? Well, it's a tadpole. In a bucket. Not sure how it got there, but I suppose my father might have put it there for one reason or another. In any case, this is closest I've been to seeing a tadpole so close. I saw its little eyes on the sides of its rounded head and the long tail it used to propel itself in that shallow water. I have to say that I kind of felt sorry for it and wondered if it had eaten anything since being put in there, so I fished out some algae from my pool. However, there was something quite strange in the water when it dropped in there.
See that little red line in there? I think it's a worm. At least, it moved as if it were a worm and it dislodged itself from the algae. I am not so sure of what it is, but from what I observed, the tadpoles don't eat them. In any case, I observed and took (very bad) pictures of the tadpole and its little red buddy until I got some good shots to upload onto my computer.
After that, though, I went back to the pool and observed the tadpoles a little more. I managed to find out that if you flipped them over, you would see their white, translucent underbellies. Of course, I only found that out after one laid upside down in the water and caught my attention, but it wasn't dead, don't worry. The algae in my pool is really thick, though, and I guess these tadpoles will be surviving in there for quite a while. At least, I hope so.
See, I went outside to look at our pool for any tadpoles that became frogs (with no luck might I add), and as I was heading back into my house, I spotted a white bucket near the door. The moment I peered into it out of sheer curiousity, I got excited and got out my camera. What did I see? This:
Don't know what I saw? Well, it's that little black speck at the one o' clock position position of the bucket. Can you guess what it is? Well, look at the (blurry) picture below to get a clue.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tadpole Pool
June 15, 2011
Here is a little fact about our family: we never use our pool. Ergo, we never clean it, and so it becomes a breeding ground for all kinds of things. Bugs, algae, you name it---it's all in that green, slimy soup that is called my pool.
However, my dad randomly decided to clean out the pool this year (and I'm guessing it's because I made suggestions to change several things in the interior design of the house). So he finally took off the cover of the pool today...and underneath it were tadpoles. Lots of tadpoles.
The black object in the middle of the picture above(and if you examine more it closely, you can see the younger ones, too) is one of the many tadpoles we found in the pool. Some of them were in later stages of their life, because I saw little bitty legs on a couple of them. Other tadpoles were tinier that those with legs, so I guess they were just born.
After taking up-close pictures of them on my stomach over the edge of the pool, I texted my boyfriend excitedly about them. I told him that they looked like s***m...and then we laughed on both sides of our phones.
However, he brought up a point that I had been pondering upon seeing them. It's obvious that sooner or later, those tadpoles would grow up to be frogs...therefore, I would have an army of frogs in my pool.
Also, it occurred to me that because the water in our pool was reduced by three-quarters, they would have a hard time trying to get out of the pool they were born into. The only solution I could think to help them was for me to get the bug fishing net and fling them out day by day onto the grass so they can hop away.
...which sounds both awesome (to say you did and watch) and yet dangerous (for the frogs). In any case, I hope dad decides to wait out draining the pool completely so that they can grow up properly.
Here is a little fact about our family: we never use our pool. Ergo, we never clean it, and so it becomes a breeding ground for all kinds of things. Bugs, algae, you name it---it's all in that green, slimy soup that is called my pool.
When I observed them up close, I saw that they were surviving off the massive amounts of algae (that dark yellowish stuff) that had grown in the pool since spring started. I find their will to live in such an enclosed space and with so many other tadpoles as amazing. I didn't see any dead ones in there either (but I guess I couldn't tell either what constitutes as a dead tadpole).
However, he brought up a point that I had been pondering upon seeing them. It's obvious that sooner or later, those tadpoles would grow up to be frogs...therefore, I would have an army of frogs in my pool.
Also, it occurred to me that because the water in our pool was reduced by three-quarters, they would have a hard time trying to get out of the pool they were born into. The only solution I could think to help them was for me to get the bug fishing net and fling them out day by day onto the grass so they can hop away.
...which sounds both awesome (to say you did and watch) and yet dangerous (for the frogs). In any case, I hope dad decides to wait out draining the pool completely so that they can grow up properly.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Today, I Experienced Driving A Car
June 14, 2011
First of all, let me just address the fact that I have been afraid of the idea of driving for the longest time. Truthfully, I wasn't very much interested in the idea when I was a 10th grader because of the fact that I wouldn't have my own car to drive anyways (and also I, being under five feet and over four foot five inches, had an intense fear of not being able to see over the steering wheel). But as the years passed, it had to be a necessity for me to know how to drive if I wanted a job. Yet even though I found jobs that earned me good money, I still refused to drive and had to be chauffeured by my parents to work.
However, after some critical thinking about reality, I have learned how to drive today. The exact reasons for my change of heart are within two realizations I had about two weeks ago.
The first one is that I cannot do any worse than the drivers in Thailand, or for that matter, any Asian driver not in America. If being in Thailand has taught me one thing, it is that drivers over there have no driving restrictions. In a tuk-tuk vehicle, we weaved in and out of traffic like race cars in Mario Kart game. Though it was awesome in one aspect, it made me gain confidence in my own nonexistent driving skills.
The second reason lies in the fact that I need money. I need money so desperately that it's conquering any fear that I have that hinders it (except perhaps being lewd in public--- I'm not budging on that just yet). In any case, I have a lot of things I want to do and it is going to take cash to remedy it. So in a nutshell, driving allows me to get a job to rectify that situation.
So today, my parents finally acted on giving me lessons. We drove from school to school around 10 AM, but apparently, all driving schools in my county and surrounding areas are closed on Tuesdays. After a lot of debating in the car, my parents thought it would be better to just teach me themselves.
It was about 1 PM and they decided the best place to drive was on the empty roads of the housing development across from our neighborhood. The roads were straight, leveled, and barely curved, making it perfect practice for me. They parked the car on the road and taught me the controls and basics I needed to know before they turned on the engines and commanded me to go.
Because I am a short person, they made sure to put a pillow under my butt and move up the chair some so I could reach the dang pedals. Even though I felt comfortable with the chair and pedal position, however, my body still tensed up and I learned that the tip of my foot was enough to power the car to go 20 MPH. Since pressure control became the problem for me at first, I kept my foot near the brake most of the time as a precaution. Therefore, driving became a very, very slow experience for me.
As we went along, though, I felt better about the pedal and my driving speed, enough to then notice that I was never within the lines of the designated road. I realize now that I'm not good at calculating distances and spaces automatically in my mind, so that is definitely something I need to work on. Otherwise, I'm going to be making fender-benders left and right.
We kept driving back and forth from area of the housing development to another using a single road. Turning and stopping at signs became the items I had to be concerned about at that point. It wasn't so hard, though, and I'm kind of proud of myself for holding out on not driving into a ditch. On a side note, my arms were hurting like crazy because I put so much grip on the steering wheel.
A little later on in the evening, my dad drove us out to my high school so I could practice turning. Once again, I was freaked out about the spacing in the road and how much I needed to turn without crashing into a sidewalk. After driving through the narrow parking lanes and learning how to use the turn signal, I got the hang of it and cruised pretty smoothly through my turns. Of course, my tendency to end up a little in the left lane was very eminent (but I'll correct that). But due to my dad's constant nagging about bumps and how I should brake a little as I approach them, well...yeah, it's now drilled into my system that I should brake at bumps.
As of now, I am kind of excited to drive tomorrow. A bit scared that maybe I'll screw up a little, but otherwise excited...as it should be.
First of all, let me just address the fact that I have been afraid of the idea of driving for the longest time. Truthfully, I wasn't very much interested in the idea when I was a 10th grader because of the fact that I wouldn't have my own car to drive anyways (and also I, being under five feet and over four foot five inches, had an intense fear of not being able to see over the steering wheel). But as the years passed, it had to be a necessity for me to know how to drive if I wanted a job. Yet even though I found jobs that earned me good money, I still refused to drive and had to be chauffeured by my parents to work.
However, after some critical thinking about reality, I have learned how to drive today. The exact reasons for my change of heart are within two realizations I had about two weeks ago.
The first one is that I cannot do any worse than the drivers in Thailand, or for that matter, any Asian driver not in America. If being in Thailand has taught me one thing, it is that drivers over there have no driving restrictions. In a tuk-tuk vehicle, we weaved in and out of traffic like race cars in Mario Kart game. Though it was awesome in one aspect, it made me gain confidence in my own nonexistent driving skills.
The second reason lies in the fact that I need money. I need money so desperately that it's conquering any fear that I have that hinders it (except perhaps being lewd in public--- I'm not budging on that just yet). In any case, I have a lot of things I want to do and it is going to take cash to remedy it. So in a nutshell, driving allows me to get a job to rectify that situation.
So today, my parents finally acted on giving me lessons. We drove from school to school around 10 AM, but apparently, all driving schools in my county and surrounding areas are closed on Tuesdays. After a lot of debating in the car, my parents thought it would be better to just teach me themselves.
It was about 1 PM and they decided the best place to drive was on the empty roads of the housing development across from our neighborhood. The roads were straight, leveled, and barely curved, making it perfect practice for me. They parked the car on the road and taught me the controls and basics I needed to know before they turned on the engines and commanded me to go.
Because I am a short person, they made sure to put a pillow under my butt and move up the chair some so I could reach the dang pedals. Even though I felt comfortable with the chair and pedal position, however, my body still tensed up and I learned that the tip of my foot was enough to power the car to go 20 MPH. Since pressure control became the problem for me at first, I kept my foot near the brake most of the time as a precaution. Therefore, driving became a very, very slow experience for me.
As we went along, though, I felt better about the pedal and my driving speed, enough to then notice that I was never within the lines of the designated road. I realize now that I'm not good at calculating distances and spaces automatically in my mind, so that is definitely something I need to work on. Otherwise, I'm going to be making fender-benders left and right.
We kept driving back and forth from area of the housing development to another using a single road. Turning and stopping at signs became the items I had to be concerned about at that point. It wasn't so hard, though, and I'm kind of proud of myself for holding out on not driving into a ditch. On a side note, my arms were hurting like crazy because I put so much grip on the steering wheel.
A little later on in the evening, my dad drove us out to my high school so I could practice turning. Once again, I was freaked out about the spacing in the road and how much I needed to turn without crashing into a sidewalk. After driving through the narrow parking lanes and learning how to use the turn signal, I got the hang of it and cruised pretty smoothly through my turns. Of course, my tendency to end up a little in the left lane was very eminent (but I'll correct that). But due to my dad's constant nagging about bumps and how I should brake a little as I approach them, well...yeah, it's now drilled into my system that I should brake at bumps.
As of now, I am kind of excited to drive tomorrow. A bit scared that maybe I'll screw up a little, but otherwise excited...as it should be.
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