This Week

My mind seems to be everywhere scary lately, but I don't seem to know where to start. From story ideas to weird dreams, it feels as if I have been to many places...without leaving my house.

For now, I will start with my dreams, because either way it'll lead to the stories. Now, it's already the fifth day of the week, so I won't be able to relay every single dream I've had this week. However, the more weirder ones made a definite impact on my conscience. For starters, the most reoccurring dream I have had so far follows the script of the video game I have been playing. It is called Persona 3 Portable, an RPG with a interaction system that allows you to get to know other NPC's back stories, and the interaction system is making me go crazy in my dreams.

Apparently, whenever I'm dreaming, my mind follows that interaction system and I have to pick nonsensical options that lead me into scenarios where either I fight monsters or get pelted by things (namely bricks). In all truth, I don't even think the dialogue in those parts of my dreams are coherent...but I still have to choose something that leads to something painful. Also, if this is starting to sound incoherent, then I'm with you on that part. I'm starting to think I shouldn't play that game before I sleep, because the moment I do, the entire night I'm stuck with that interaction system trying to get myself to wake up. Trust me...having your mind follow that system makes you feel very...sad in the morning (and by sad, I mean "hungover").

Now, when my dreams aren't involved with that video game...well, let's just say it's not any better. Take last night's dream for example: I dreamed that I was watching (and then involved in) a movie where a young African American girl was chopped up into pieces by some Americans. Now, this movie seemed to be taking place in the 1960s...so you can guess why she was killed. However, seeing her chopped up body was very disturbing, enough to be burned into my memory so that when I woke up, I'd be still freaked out. ...and I was, in fact, to the point where I couldn't look in my bathroom mirror in fear that the dream was a premonition of some sort from an actual girl that got murdered.

Of course, after five hours of thinking about the dream and cowering under the covers, I thought of something cool about the story. If the dream was, in fact, not a  crazy premonition, then perhaps I could use the basis of that dream as a story for a novel. Because I am writer, it seems logical to do this kind of thing whenever I have a strong plot dream, but there is one problem. I really question whether I have the guts to write a murder mystery based on something that almost made cry and pee my pants this morning. It will probably be a difficult hurdle to jump if I don't figure out how to make it less scary, even more so if I begin to dream about it more in the future.

I guess in the end, my ability to remember dreams can help me as a writer...but then I wonder how sane I'll be if I do write about them? I just hope I can find another source of inspiration to rely on sooner or later.